A New Life

I apologize for taking so long to update the blog. I'm still trying to take everything in and get used to this new life. It's so much more than I thought it was going to be and I'm sure I was fully emotionally prepared. BUT....I still feel good about it and I am so glad I did it.

The liquid diet the week before the surgery was pretty much the worst thing ever. Luckily it was as short as it was or I think I might have gone a little crazy. The toughest part was the protein shakes. They were so disgusting and after 3 days, I stopped drinking them all together. I was SOOOO over it. I really stopped caring about having energy. I know..not the smartest thing. I am getting better at that one.

November 20th, my ever so amazing brother and his family came up from Cedar City to be with me for my surgery. We got into the hospital at 6:00 a.m. and then at 6:20 they had me in my gown ready for an IV. They couldn't get a vein so they had the anesthesiologist come in and he said he would do it in the operating room. The nurse then stuck in my tummy with a needle full of heperin to keep me from getting blood clots. They wheeled me into the operating room and had me move over to the table. There was a lot of hustle and bustle going on and the anesthesiologist put the IV in and before I knew I was asleep.

About an hour and 10 minutes later, I was done. I woke up in recovery and let me tell you....waking up out of anesthesia is no easy task. I was groggy but making sense. They started giving me ice chips and water. After a while, I sat up and then they said that I could leave until I went to the bathroom. I am not sure how much time passed but they nurse helped me into the bathroom and asked if I needed any help. With as overly modest as I am when it comes to things of this nature, I thought I could tough it out by myself. The head nurse felt differently and had the student nurse who had been by my side from the start go in with me. I was sitting there and said to her, "Well....this is a new experience for me." She said, "I guess we're bonding aren't we?" I felt much better.

I got back to my little sectioned off room and got dressed...by myself actually. We drove out of there at 11:00 a.m. It still amazes me that such a life changing operation can happen so quickly.
I got to my aunts house and was actually quite awake. I did lay down after a while but got up to walk around and I actually did quite a bit of it. I didn't nap the rest of the day like I thought I would. Even the next day I didn't nap. It wasn't until the third day that realized that if I turn the TV on and but it on one of those public stations, I can fall asleep pretty quickly. Even if one of my fav's Anne of Green Gables is playing.

I spent most of my time lying down but it felt good to just be for a while. I haven't had that in a long time. I returned to work on Monday, November 26th and most people would say that that was probably a bad idea. Apparantly I didn't look so well. I was in pajama's the rest of the week but I felt more and more human everyday.

This past week I have felt so much better. My incisions have healed up nicely and I am used to the lack of food. I'm still trying to get my 64 oz of fluid in in a day but haven't quite been keeping up with that like I would like to.

I have lost about 20 lbs thus far and counting. I can kind of feel it but people are telling me that they can REALLY see it. It is going to be a slow process but I am ok with that. I'm excited to start working out and really digging into....well....me. My birthday is tomorrow and I feel an empowerment that I have never felt before. Somewhere in the past 31 years, I have forgotten about me. This change of life is a HUGE reminder that unless I take care of myself and make sure that I am in a good place mentally, spiritually, physically and in every other way, I can't take care of those that I love. I can't be the person that I want to be....or the sibling, the sister, the aunt, the daughter or the friend.

As I am typing this I have been watching the last part of Polar Express and there is a line that was just said that is rather poignant for this blog...."The thing about trains is that it doesn't matter where you are going....what matters is deciding to get on."
I really don't know exactly where this journey is taking me....but I jumped in head first and working it out minute by minute....hour by hour...day by day. I have had so much support along the way I am completely blessed to have all of you in my life. Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words....and for letting me change and grow....or shrink....depending on how you look at it. :)

With that, I must sleep. If I don't write before Christmas, I hope everyone has an amazing one and that they know that they are loved.

Take care and much love,
Me