Yes, I am still alive.

OK...so let's just say I'm not incredibly diligent with this whole blogging thing. I guess that explains why I haven't written in my personal journal since 2001. My posterity will be very upset with me that is for sure. I really do regret not giving a play by play of the last month or so. There have been so many ups and downs, it's amazing that I didn't get motion sickness.
I'll try to give an update that will do justice to its content.

January was my month of reality hitting me ever so softly..(not!).. over the head. Without going into too much emotional detail, let's just say that it hurt, I let it go, I'm moving forward and THAT feels really good. Not 100% but doing really, really well.

I'm not sure if it was the first or the second Friday in January but I went to my surgeon to get my first fill. For those of you that just raised your eyebrow and said, "Your first what??", I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. When the band was placed around my stomach, there wasn't any fluid in it. When you get fluid in it, it is done through the port that is attached to my abdominal wall under the skin, which has a small tube that is attached to the band. The doctor feels around for the port which is under the 2 inch incision which is healed up..no worries. Then he takes a syringe with saline solution in it, pokes it into the port and slowly pushes the solution into the port, through the tub into the band to tighten it. By doing this, it makes it so I can't eat or drink as fast or as much. I had noticed that I was doing just that..eating and drinking faster and was able to eat more. Not that I did....I just noticed that I could if I wanted to. For this reason, I went to the doctor to get that fill. I asked him before he filled it if he was going to fill it completely. He said that wouldn't be good because then it would be too tight and shut off my esophogus. With that, he decided that he would put about 4cc's into the band which is about a full syringe. I promptly got up off the table and went to my car. I started driving home and slowly started feeling not so good. Mind you, I live about 3 blocks from the hospital. By the time I got home, I was very uncomfortable and verging on being in some intense pain. I sat in front of my bathroom sink spitting up spit. I know...kinda gross. This is my first fill so I didn't know what to expect. After 45 minutes, I called the dr. and he asked if I tried water. I told him I didn't dare. He said to try it and then give him a call. I tried about 2 teaspoons and it made me throw up. I called him back and he said to come in and he would remove some of the fluid. I drove back, he took out 2cc's and I automatically felt better. Twenty-four hours of clear liquids and I was back to normal. Well, I weighed in Friday, February 1st and I have lost 40 lbs since November 20th. I KNOW!!! Crazy!!! I apologize for not having any updated pictures. I'm really not a fan of most pictures that are taken of me. So, as soon as my glamour shots are developed, I'll post them. hahaha....just kidding........I'm SOOO not going to post them! ;)

Obviously, when I heard that President Hinckley died, it was bittersweet. For those of you not of my faith, President Gordon B. Hinckley had been the president of the LDS Church for about 13 years. He was well loved all over the world and is missed dearly. I knew that I wanted to be there for when the world would say goodbye. My roommate and I made it to Temple Square at 6:10 a.m. to stand in line to get tickets. I know...tickets to a funeral. It sounds a bit odd, but for this man it makes perfect sense. This funeral was broadcast in 69 languages across the world and was held in the Conference Center that holds 21,000 people. Yeah, standing in line for tickets to get in doesn't seem so odd anymore. It was crazy cold and they were pretty worried about people so they ushered us into the Tabernacle. That is where they distributed tickets and then headed over to the Conference Center. We got amazing seats and were able to be apart of something very, very special. It was a moment I will never forget and made me think a lot about my life and where I am...as well as where I am not. I sense some changes coming my way. You would think I would be ok with my physical change and be good with that. Well, you are wrong. There is so much more for me to do and so much more for me to be, this is only the beginning.

Well, that is it for now. I PROMISE I will get an updated picture and add some other pictures on here as well. I have many requests for some and I'll try not to be too picky.
I love you all and pray that this finds you happy and well.

Me